It's Just Not Me
by join.me.in.the.thunder
Summary: -So I'm just going to say it: I like you Alicia Rivera. A lot. More than friends. And I know it's wrong, but I can't help it." I didn't say anything, I just leaned in, touching my lips to her's, something I'd been dying to do the last 4 months.- Oneshot:


_**I**_know this isn't me. It's not me sitting here, my textbook's scattered across the wooden table, lined paper filled with Calcus terms I actually _know._ It's not me, watching her sip her Starbucks latte, her red lips molding around the cup, like I wish they would mold to my lips.

**_I _**try to shake that thought from my head, the disgust forming in my stomach, in my head. But my heart disagrees.

**_I_**t's just wrong. So wrong. To think of her that way, to gaze into her green eye's and get lost, to watch her lips with a longing I've never felt before. It's so wrong. Yet I can't shake the feeling.

_**I** want_ her. I want to to kiss me, to let her hand explore my body, to feel her moan against mine. I knew that when I asked for her to tutor me, it was a bad idea, but I never thought about it like _this._

**_"_**And so you see that pi equal's 3.14159..." Layne continues on. I try to look like I'm listening, but I just know that I won't be able to contain myself from my feeling's much longer.

**_"_**Enough about pi. Let's just talk." I say, folding my hand's on the crinkled pages on the table. I can see I've caught her off guard.

**_"_**Oh-kay." Layne say's looking up from her textbook, looking me in the eyes. "What do you want to talk about, exactly?"

_**"**_Well, I was just wondering, why don't you have a boyfriend?" I bit my tongue after I said those words, hoping she didn't read right through me.

_**"**_I don't know. I guess I waiting for the right guy." She said, blushing while looking down, playing with her fingers. "Damn, I probably shouldn't have told you that."

**_"_**Why?" I ask, leaning forward a bit. We're only a few inches apart now, tucked back from sight behind the bookshelves. When we walked in, there were only a few student's in here, most in line to check out books. By my count now, we were the only ones in here. We might not be able to see anyone else, but we can see the door. No one walked in. Only out.

_**"**_You'll probably run off and tell all your friends, then they'll twist it and make fun of me. Plus, it's only half the truth." Layne bit her lip, looking like I probably had when I didn't mean to say something. She slipped.

**_"_**Never! I promise," I said, placing my hand over my heart, "I might have before, but I wouldn't now. And why is it only half the truth?" I asked, watching her cheek's flush. I yearned to lean out and stroke her face, but I held back my hands for the millionth time today alone.

**_"_**Well, I am waiting, but..." Layne looked at me, her bang's and thick eyelash's framing her face, making her more tempting. I tried to look confused, but my mind was two step's ahead.

**_I_**_f she's waiting, but that was only half of the truth, then she's not waiting for the right _guy...I mentally gasped, my heart rate picking up.

**_"_**Can I trust you?" She asked, still looking into my brown eyes. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. "Okay. I'm trusting you. Please don't say _anything_. I'm waiting, but not for the right _guy._ For the right girl." Layne said, blushing crimson. I listened to myself gasp, then glance at the door. No one. I was safe. I opened my mouth to say something, but Layne stopped me by continuing.

**_"_**It get's worse. Or better. Depends on _your_point of view." Layne said, pointing at me specifically. "I think I found the right girl. But I don't think it's anyone I ever would have thought of. So I'm just gonna jump out and say it: Alicia Rivera, I like you. A lot. More than friends. I never though I would say it to _you_, but I wasn't planning on being, um, gay either." Layne whispered under her breath. I watched her the whole time, watching her face flush deeper and deeper, if that was even possible, watching her lips, her ah-mazing green eyes.

**_"_**So?" Layne asked, looking at me. I still didn't trust myself to speak, so I leaned in really close to her, brushing my lips with hers, something I'd been dying to do for the last four months. Layne gasped, then crashed her lips against mine, scooting her chair closer to me. I molded my lips against her's, grabbing her hand and stroking it softly.

**_W_**_rong! So wrong! _My mind screamed in protest, trying to push Layne away. But my heart won the battle, pressing closer to her instead, opening my mouth to let her tongue in. Her breath was heavy against mine, and I felt her stand up, then sit on top of me, deepening the kiss.

**_J_**ust as I thought I might explode from the lack of air, Layne lifted herself off of me, her chestnut colored hair tangled from my hands. I breathed deeply, watching her grin and feeling myself grin back. Layne, without words, grabbed my hand under the table, then went back to her books, showing me this was a secret relationship, something I was perfectly fine with.

_**W**_hen I went to reach for my pencil, I noticed something shift from the bookshelf in front of my table. I saw the hair before I saw the face. The hair was parted from the right to the left, gelled to look messy but neat. Josh Hotz grinned evilly, flashing a camera over the shelves before weaving his way out of the library.

**_I _**was about to get up, or maybe warn Layne, but I decided against it. So what if my ex-boyfriend wanted to get revenge this way? I didn't care. I wasn't about to let him ruin this perfect moment with this perfect girl. So I squeezed her hand, winked at her, then grabbed my pencil and put it to the paper.

_**M**_aybe this was just me.

* * *

_One qucik A/N: All of my stories, the one's I've written and the one's I will write, are all now disclaimed. I forget to do it, so I'm doing it now. :)_

_I know this was a bit odd, having a Layne/Alicia oneshot, but there are hardly any gay/lesbian stories on here, and I wanted to be different. Just becuase. But let the record go that I am striaght. FYI :)_

_R&R._

_xoxo, join. me. in. the. thunder_


End file.
